Campus Talk
13 Jan
Best line so far this week overheard while traversing campus:
“No, I mean, I’d still date him, he was only in prision for stealing a car.”
People, I tell you. I just sometimes don’t get them.
I was schooled in the fine art of medically necessary canines in one’s college apartment yesterday. How to get the doctor to write a note for, in this case, seasonal affect disorder, and how, in this case, one’s general well being is improved with the presence of a pup. And how, in this case, that’s enough to be able to house said pup at West 10. Said pup: she peed on the floor during Show & Tell. Said pup’s owner turned bright red.
I’m carrying a back pack this semester. Like full on old school JanSport style. It’s so much more comfortable than my messenger bag. I may look like the big dork student rather than the stylish professor, but oh well. I’ll trade that card almost every day.
I was in full on pedagogical heat and discourse in my first class Monday morning when I ate it. Tripped. Fell. Over my own two feet. And planted my face on the ground in front of 42 students. They laughed. And then they asked me if I was okay. Bruised ego, yes. Everything else: still ticking.
I noticed probably one of the most attractive people I’d ever seen at school sitting on bench out in the cold waiting for a class to start yesterday. Then I watched her take a drag of a cigarette. She immediately became disgusting. I feel like there’s more smoking on this campus rather than less. It’s gross.
I grilled 62 pieces of marinateed chicken last night for the college kids. It tasted amazing. But I still feel smokey.
And my heart was broken when a 28 year old student of mine came by the office yesterday. She has 4 kids. (And yes, she knows how they are made she informed me.) Her youngest is 4 months old. During her pergnacy, they found some cancer cells, and she has to have a hysterectomy next Tuesday. I listend to her break down. And heard her ask if I’d be flexible and let her do what she can online. I wanted to just give her an A right there and send her off with grand thougths and prayers. It broke a piece of my heart. I gave her a free ticket to get as much or as little done as she could and we’d regroup when she was ready. I don’t understand any instructor who would have done anything less. Pray for her. She’s my age. And it’s not understandable.
Second favorite student line of the week so far, that caused me to lose all professional compsure:
“I mean, Doc, I might not seem smart and all, but I sho aint no ruh-tard.”
“I noticed probably one of the most attractive people I’d ever seen at school sitting on bench out in the cold waiting for a class to start yesterday. Then I watched her take a drag of a cigarette. She immediately became disgusting. I feel like there’s more smoking on this campus rather than less. It’s gross.”
—-This is a rather common occurrence, and for future reference the term used to describe the girl is a “nicotease.” See definition below courtesy of Urban Dictionary :)
Nicotease : someone who is initially found attractive but upon closer inspection, either by seeing them with a cigarette or by smelling cigaresidue, you realize that he / she is a smoker.
This person can also be known as “a nice piece of ash.”
Jeremy: Yowza! Have you seen that new dame on campus? I need to ask her out for a snowcone sometime!
John: Don’t waste your time broseph, I saw her smoking under the bleachers the other day. She’s just another nicotease.